I am instead going to show these vanity pictures I have just taken of myself.
May I reiterate the fact that the reason I am staring off into the distance is less about good angles and more about the fact that six months after I bought this computer I dropped it on the tile bathroom floor at my parents house and broke the screen? Because it is. In fact, I now can only use this computer when it is hooked up ghetto-style to a huge desktop monitor. But, on the plus side, my macbook now doubles as an intriguing modern art piece.
Which is why, after almost two years of torture and suffering, I am buying a new computer next month.
So. That's it. I'm too inebriated to write anything else even remotely coherent. (This sentence originally read "I'm too inmebreaited to write anything else ieven remotnles xob=ehernt." Proof.)
I promise I will be back with vigor and witty-ness tomorrow.