Friday, October 12, 2012

summer came, summer went

*In an attempt to cover as much ground as possible in the catch-up department, this post will be interspersed with photographic highlights of the past summer that have absolutely nothing to do with anything. You are forewarned.*

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've been doing a lot of thinking for two reasons. The first reason is that I am unemployed, and as an unemployed person, I have a lot of free time to do things like thinking deep thoughts and washing the dishes multiple time a day. (Our house is freaking clean, y'all.) The second reason is that I am obviously at a place in my life (as an unemployed person) that I need to asses the things I'm doing and why I'm doing them - and decide if these things are helping me to achieve my ultimate goals and lead me on the path to happiness. These things are good. Thinking is good. Having clean dishes is good.

Warrior Dash warriors.

Let's rewind for a second though and think long and hard about why I'm unemployed. Basically Starbucks was the pits because I had to wake up at 3:45 AM and then work for eight hours a day, five days a week, for minimum wage. Now, you may think that because the phrase "AM" appeared in that sentence, that I was waking up very early in the morning, but you would be mistaken. Because 3:45 AM is actually the middle of the night. IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND WAKING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO SERVE COFFEE TO THE THRONGS OF PEOPLE WHO RIDE THE TRAIN INTO THE INTERNATIONAL DISTRICT FOR MINIMUM WAGE IS NOT WORTH IT.

It's not worth it.

We didn't actually have to think all that long and hard about it after all.

The fabulous Greek Chorus Trio of Seattle Musical Theater's production of Legally Blonde.

Anyways, I decided that when the summer began I would work at Stage Struck again full time, all the while looking for a job to start when fall rolled around. A friend recommended a temp agency that she had great luck with, so I applied, had a great interview, and was told to give them a call when my time at Stage Struck was finished and they would put me to work.

Lies. All lies.

Well, not entirely, but things haven't exactly panned out like I hoped they would. I have been sent out on zero jobs and have been left to scramble about and try to come up with employment for myself. It's been slow going, but I'm hopeful things will turn around very soon.

A very patriotic (and slightly inebriated) 4th of July celebration.

I'm proud of myself though. I'm proud that I have the confidence (or recklessness) to leave a job that was making me miserable without much of a backup plan, and still turn out okay. I'm proud that I can recognize that I wasn't living up to my potential and actively work to change that. And I'm proud to be unafraid to dream big, and take my dreams seriously.

I may not have a legitimate job right now, I may have struggle quite a bit to do things like buy groceries and gas, and I may have possibly sold valuable possessions to make rent this month - but I've also had some pretty great experiences. I performed in a sold out run of a well-reviewed musical. I went on great trips. I learned to sew. I had very late nights with wonderful friends. I cooked a lot. Yesterday I learned to rap a whole song. And if those things aren't what life's all about, then don't even both telling me I'm doing it wrong. Because I'd rather screw it up doing it my way than have a dull time doing it yours.

Double trouble. My sister Maggie and I take on Colorado.

And that is that.

PS. Woah. I just went through and read this after I published it and I think I inadvertently revealed a truth that I have been trying to keep hidden for a long time. Ricky never wears shirts. Like, ever. It's a problem.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Hello Again

Hello blog. I missed you.

I'm back again after another long hiatus. I'm not going to make any promises about returning to regular blogging because we all know by know that I never keep that promise. But I do think I'm going to try.

I feel like I keep coming back to the same place. I closed a show yesterday (bittersweet). I have auditions and callbacks lined up (sweet). I am unemployed once again, by my own choosing (bitter).

Sometimes I think I change jobs too much. But if you are not making any money and you are not happy, why stay? If it's not working, why stay? I'm trying to figure things out right now and hoping very much for a future that allows me to continue doing shows and pursuing my passions while also allowing me to do things like pay rent and eat.

So there is that.

Also, I'm learning how to sew and I made a dress!

That's all. Happy Fall.